The Black Friend: On Being A Better White Person

If you’re white, you may not be aware of white privilege,  how you benefit from it, or how it affects others, but now you can gain some perspective, a book, to understand how to be a better white person. How we, as white people need to understand that our country was built on white supremacy, and to have accountability to actively change it. This book should be a requirement in school, and a requirement for all to read, but especially for white people. I love how Frederick references things for post millennials - anyone born after the 1990’s basically. It’s an interactive reading experience, which I loved because, like him, I love music too! I took a rock music history class my first year of college, so I learned how music was influenced from other cultures.

We all have our own unique contributions to racism, spoken or not, but I do remember times growing up and thinking — if the color of my skin hadn’t been white —  how would it have been different?!

Let me give you perspective. I love that word: perspective. I’m actually a bit obsessed with the idea of perspectives. Having a different perspective on any given situation. So let me paint this picture for you. In my late teen years — I might of been nineteen or twenty at the time — I would go out to the clubs/bars with my friends — yeah yeah, I know, I used a fake I.d. — it’s what us white Scottsdale girls did. We’d go to RA Sushi, do sake bombs, then go dance it up at Axis Radius, or Sanctuary, or one of the other south Scottdsdale clubs at that time (how things have grown and changed now). I remember being out with my two girlfriends, and we did exactly that, went out for sushi at RA, then went and had a couple drinks at a club... (before you judge me Karen, let’s face it, most people underage drink, I just did it in public, which is better IMO) my one friend (three years older than I) had a young child at the time so she always liked to drive separate, and leave early to get home at a decent hour for the babysitter (and she was always the sober one). She lived on the west side too, which is a far drive. I drove my car with my other friend in tow. We decided to leave when our sober friend wanted to leave, and she asked if I could drop her off at her car. I know you’re probably thinking how stupid of me for drinking and driving, and you’re right! I was young, dumb, and immature. Remember this was 15 years ago. Perspective. Life experience gives you perspective. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes gives you perspective. Your own dumb mistakes gives you perspective, looking back. Hindsight is 20/20. Stop judging. (Sorry Mom 😬). Anyway, I drop her off at her car in a big parking lot, that if memory serves, wasn’t really well lit up. My friend got out, started her car and pulled out behind us. I drove straight to where the street was, down the the row of cars, and all of a sudden I was “hopping the curb” with my Volkswagen Jetta. The anthem car of every white chick. Lol. Instead of what I thought was a slope to drive out of the parking lot, was actually a square curb. Whoops. My bad. Typical white girl here. I turned right, then another immediate right, not more than a few yards away was the stop sign, I stopped, went through the intersection, and before I made it to the main street light to get onto Scottdsdale road, I saw the police lights in my rear view mirror. 

Of course I was freaking out. This was maybe only the second time in my life I was ever pulled over. I turned to pull into an empty parking spot. I remember having one of those wisp’s in my car, so I quickly brushed my teeth with it. I got out my “real” I.d. and I think my friend and I quickly hypothesized what I would say. I will tell you, I’m the type of person that can handle my liquor, no matter what I drink, except tequila. I can’t do tequila because it gives me the spins. To sum this part up a little: the police officer came to the window, I gave him my I.d., he went back to check my driving record & registration. Came back to the window, asked me to step out of the car. Oh shit. Oh shit. I was thinking. This is it, I’m being arrested. He preceded to ask, “Have you had anything to drink tonight” “Yes. My friends and I had sushi at RA, and we know someone who works there that doesn’t card, so I had a couple beers”. Not a complete lie. “Do you know why I pulled you over?” “I drove off the curb in the parking lot? I honestly thought it was a slope, and not a curb.” The officer then asked me to wait as he went back to the patrol car again. A few minutes past and he finally walked back. He said, “Okay, I’m going to let you go with a warning but you have to leave your car here and get a ride home somehow.” I told him our other friend was right behind us and she doesn’t drink so she can give us a ride home. He went back to his patrol car and got in. We waived our friend down who luckily had pulled over too, gave her a quick summary of what went down, and we drove off. Lucky me right?!

I have no doubt, that if the color of my skin had been different, I wouldn’t have gotten off so easy. My life literally would have changed and that would have been a pivotal turning point in my life. Maybe the police officer knew this, or maybe he respected the fact that I was honest with him about drinking. But if you think for one second that the same scenario would have played out in the same way for a person who isn’t white... then you need to read this book. This is just one example from my life, but is a perfect example of white privilege. I definitely am aware of it, and I’m aware of how others are targeted unfairly... just for the color of their skin. If horrible white people are horrible to other white people, just think about the horrible things they say or do to people of color. This book is for them, and for the white people who seemingly think their comments or use of words won’t hurt or affect another individual. As innocent as it may seem to you, it could be vastly offensive to someone else. You need to be schooled by Frederick Joseph in this New York Times best seller! A MUST READ!

Postpartum Essentials

Charlie is now 2 months old and I can't believe how time has passed in the blink of an eye. With that said, after these two months I've learned a few things and wanted to share with you some postpartum essentials that people don't talk about post delivery. Those gifts that are not gifted - for good reason too! It's those awkward items that would be a wee-bit too personal and not quite as fun to give as all those cute little outfits. These are the postpartum things, and items I wish I had or known about prior to delivery:

#1 Medela Lanolin Ointment - 

This stuff literally saved my nips. Haha. Before having Charlie, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. We did skin to skin immediately following her birth, and breastfed her right away in order to establish a good latch. In my opinion, It's a good birth practice for those Mom's wishing to breastfeed - the sooner the better. The hospital gives you little trial samples of the Medela tender care lanolin ointment. I didn't use it right away, thinking I didn't need to unless there was an issue with my nipples (cracking, roughness, pain, etc), boy was I wrong. After the first two days or so, after not using the ointment, the skin around my areola's started to peel- yes peel, as in flakes of dead skin coming off. I think it was from friction or maybe just my body's way of toughening up the skin for the months ahead. But let me tell you, I wish I had used it right away. It wasn't until after we came home from the hospital that I started using it after every feeding. It seriously saved me, potentially from even worse pain and discomfort as a result of breastfeeding. I am to the point where my nipples no longer hurt when she latches, sometimes a little discomfort, but I attribute part of my success of breastfeeding to using the lanolin generously, but mostly determination and perseverance was key. You can find it here. I also use a nipple cream that is coconut based with lavender essential oil in it.  I got it in the bump box I bought from Doula, Kelly Sunshine, at our birthing class. You can find that here. I use it a bit more sporadically as I've grown to like the lanolin more. My suggestion would be to start using it generously after every feeding if your goal is to breastfeed as long as possible. Do not give up, it does get better over time, you just have to endure, eventually it will get easier, and less painful. Most people probably don't gift this because some women don't breastfeed or can't, the person gifting isn't sure they'll use it, or it's just a personal item that someone would feel awkward giving as a gift. Which is completely understandable. That's why I'm making this list so others can hopefully get an idea about the items you [may] use that aren't gifted or talked about, prior to delivery. So stock up now! :) 

#2 Lanosh Breast Pads - 

Again, this is a very personal item related to breastfeeding. Any breastfeeding mother knows, these are a must. I didn't even think about breast pads before delivery, or even in the hospital for that matter. I had a couple of "let downs" (where your milk spontaneous leaks from your nipples) while I was in the hospital, but, it was just a little nickel sized wet spot. I guess I didn't think I needed breast pads at that time. I knew I would need them at some point but it didn't even occur to me when I might need them. I think I had some samples that came with my Medela breast pump. I can't even remember now if I used any when we came home from the hospital, I'm pretty sure I did though. The first night home I realized I was going to be needing a lot more breast pads when I thought it was a good idea to wear a t-shirt to bed. Not a nursing camisole or a nursing bra, but just ta-ta's out in an oversized t-shirt. Charlie had her hepatitis B vaccination earlier that day, and she became inconsolable that evening. It wasn't until I noticed my shirt completely soaked that I realized, huh, this wasn't such a good idea, and maybe I need to order some breast pads - ASAP! Hello, Amazon prime! Ordered & done. You can find them here. No more wearing free-boob tees. 

*On a side note: I was given cloth breast pads, a hand-me-down gift, that were never used of course. After trying them once, the fabric caused a weird friction sensation, so I decided I wasn't going to use them, and go with the disposable ones instead out of convenience. Let me tell you, they are a life saver when it comes to breastfeeding. Not very eco-friendly but neither are diapers, and who really uses cloth diapers anymore anyway? Maybe if I was a stay at home mom, I would have the patience and stomach for that. Ew. I joked with a couple friends of mine, both mothers, I said "Only a breastfeeding mom would understand that being in cold weather is not good for the nips”. Your nipples are just never the same. All you breastfeeding, and exclusively pumping mama’s out there know what I'm talking about. 

#3 Swaddle blankets - 

We received so many swaddle blankets from the baby shower and hand-me-down ones as well. Partly my mistake because I put practically every cute patterned ones I saw on the registry. What I didn't realize was that you really only use them up to about two weeks after delivery. Babies don't really need to be swaddled longer than that. If you think about it, you may only need one or two swaddler blankets. You really could go without them and just use the [very roughy fabric] blankets the hospital uses, you know, the generic ones with the blue and pink stripes on it. I had a few cute swaddle blankets that I wish I would have brought to the hospital to use instead, for all her first photos. They would have made for some much cuter pictures I think. Hindsight is 50/50 as Sky would say. I also think that swaddling can be substituted with skin to skin. When you breastfeed, especially in the first month, babies like to be skin to skin. Charlie was having slight latch issues (just on my right side due to anatomical difficulties) while we were still in the hospital, so the nurse recommended we do skin to skin feeding because I was trying to feed her while being swaddled up in a little ball… like a little burrito which wasn't working. We got her down to her diaper and nestled her close to my breast, and behold, she latched, fed, and then fell asleep. A mothers body has a unique way of providing the warmth that the baby needs, there are actually studies that prove this. I would say, select a few cute swaddlers and leave it at that. My favorites are from KB Cute and Modern Burlap, which you can find here and here. I didn't discover these businesses/companies until after and wish I could have bought one to use at the time of Charlie's delivery. 

#4 Tucks pads - 

Disclaimer: they are not just for hemorrhoids! The one thing moms don't really talk about regarding birth is the healing process...unless your me, then you do. I have no shame or filter when it comes to talking about anatomy, and bodily functions. These cooling pads are amazing for the indescribable mess that is the post birth vagina and perineal area. Luckily the hospital supplied me with two packs of these. I had never heard of them before birth though, and I certainly never saw them at the drug store. I guess if you've never needed them, you wouldn't know about them. I love that they have witch hazel as the healing property. These are a must, and if your hospital doesn't provide them, I recommend getting some along with the numbing spray they supply you with also. I'd go into detail with that stuff, but you'd be reading a novel. I just think of it as the "after-care" go-to products for a vaginal birth, they are important, so use them!!! I'd also stock up on different brands/types of pads and especially panty liners...I had bought the super duper thick pads because I read somewhere to get the super overnight pads... I can tell you once I went through the hospital pads that I brought home, those store bought ones weren't great. They created friction, and frankly I wasn't really bleeding that much anymore. I still needed something though, and that's when I turned to the liners, which were more comfortable and didn't create so much friction and bunching in the perineal area. After delivery you think, will things EVER be the same again down there, and I'm here to tell you, yes! It was about a month of healing, all-together. Seems like a long time but in the grand scheme of things, if you think about it, it's really pretty fast. Everyday that passes, it gets better and eventually you're healed! Don’t get discouraged about your lady parts healing, it will heal. Give it some time and try to stay off your bum. Lay down whenever possible to take the pressure off your perineum. You can find these here. 

#5 Sleep - 

Ok, I know this one is not an "item" but essential nonetheless. When everyone says "sleep when baby sleeps", they really mean it. I would say its probably good advice for new moms, but only after the first month. That first month you're paranoid, stressed out, worried and questioning everything you're doing. Sleep is the last thing on your mind and you’re scared to even shut your eyes for a moment. You push your body to the limit and sleeping is done in two hour increments, if that. The first couple of weeks that Charlie was home, I didn't really get much sleep, maybe 2-3 hours, and only in increments. Sky and I took shifts at night staying up watching Charlie. Mostly watching her breathe, and making sure she was still alive. All because most parents are scared shitless of SIDS -everyone talks about it, and articles seem to fill your Facebook feed somehow, which leaves you no other option than to force yourself into a sleep deprived zombie, or as I like to call it a ”mom-bie". We originally had the Owlet monitor, which I talked about in this post. However the one we received was defective. Once we got it sorted out with the company, they sent us a new one, but it took about a month as we got it shortly after Christmas due to the rush from the holidays. Go figure that would be a popular Christmas present. Now that we have it, and it works, and we love it. The amount of relief & security it gives me while she sleeps is priceless. 

#6 Zip-up & Newborn onesies - 

Snaps. Who thought of snaps? They are the arch nemesis of diaper changing. A parents worst nightmare. I however, feel you just have to have patience with them, but when your child is screaming bloody murder because they're hungry and you're desperately trying to avoid a blow out so you change their diaper first, you are left with trying to unsnap & then snap a gazillion of them - or so it seems. This is why the zip up onesie is amazing! The one stop shop: footies, hand covers, and a one zip access to easy diaper exchange. These are a must. My friend Maggie gifted a couple at my baby shower, sharing her advice that I now completely agree understand. Zip ups are best. If you didn’t get any at your baby shower, go get some right now. You’ll thank me later. You can see an example of a zip up here. 

I didn't get a lot of newborn size stuff. You would think that would be the most popular size but in actuality I think most people figure they are just going to grow out of it so fast so what's the point in it. I have to say I received a bunch of second hand newborn onesies and thank goodness for that because that's the one thing I didn't get much of. Everything would have been ginormous on her if we didn't have the newborn sizes. It's amazing, the 0-3mo sizes can be so huge on her, and yet, at 2 months old now, the newborn size is just now becoming a bit snug. Can someone say growth spurt. Make sure you have some newborn onesies, and one zip outfits. 

#7 Burp rags/Cloth Diapers - 

Towels, rags, cloths. Whichever name you choose to use, these are invaluable. You never want to leave the house without one. Or a binky for that matter -Sky & I learned that lesson the hard way. Burp rags are a must have essential. Sky's mom actually bought us some, but they come in a package as cloth diapers actually. Of course I'm not using them as such but they are the perfect burp rag. We took some home from the hospital which we were told, "if one or two went missing it wasn't the end of the world." But as soon as we got home I opened the package of cloth diapers, aka burp rags, and have been cycling through them like no ones business. We did get some very nice peanut shaped burp rags, hand sewn with cute fabric, but only 4 of them. I find I use these on the boppy, on my shoulder, as an absorbent rag for my breast pumping parts, and as liners in our various bassinets. Nothing is worse than having a blow out in the bassinet, or worse, the boppy! The boppy is also the next best thing next to sliced bread. Put the burp rag on it... the Newborn Lounger by Boppy doesn't come with a zip off cover, luckily, I had a burp rag on it when Charlie had a blow out. I'm sure you could wash the whole thing, but who wants to have to do that?! Not me. You can find these here. 

#8 Stool Softener Pills

They will give you these in the hospital right after birth so that you do not become constipated. Nothing is worse that having a rough bowel movement right after giving birth. Don't worry, it usually takes anywhere between a couple of days to about a week or so for the first bowel movement. At least from my experience. The only downside is that once you leave the hospital, there isn't a nurse giving you the stool softeners pills anymore. I recommend getting a bottle so that once you get home you can start taking them. I'm not sure if they actually tell you to start taking them, I think they recommend it but only if you feel its necessary. I am here to tell you, you'll want to start taking them everyday. I did for the first month, and then slowly tapered off the second month. Trust me, you'll think to yourself, "Will pooping ever be the same, and not feel so uncomfortable"? The answer is yes, give it time and everything will be back to normal again. P.S. I just used the generic Up & Up brand from Target. You can find them here. 

I'm sure I will think of so many other things once I post this, but I would say these are my tippy-top of the list essentials I think are overlooked and just not really thought about until after the fact. I hope this helps some new moms, or moms to be! 

P.S. The customized Arizona State Rattler is made by a company called Bannor Toys. You can find it here. The cactus pillow is from the Land of Nod and can be purchased here. 

Below are more pictures I took of our cute little 2 month old Charlie bean. 

xoxo Angela 

I used the rattle to create the vignette around this image. I just thought it looked cool and it got her to look right at the lens in this photo. Same for the image below.

Behind the scenes of how I got Charlie to look at the lens. She wasn't in the best of moods when I decided to do the photos but she was a trooper and really like the Jelly Cat bunny rattle. 

Charlie's Birth

Charlie Rumer Watson came into this world on November 29th, 2016, at 5:02pm, weighing 6 pounds 13 ounces, measuring 19.5 inches long, and with a beautiful head of dark brown hair. Everything that anyone ever tells you about having a baby is so true; love at first sight. The type of love that's worn outside your chest, as it hovers over you like a rainbow of emotion. 

In sharing my birth experience, I hope it might give other mothers, and mothers-to-be, a glimpse into how child birth can be very different for every woman. As I've said, no matter how a child enters this world, the important point to take away is that they get here safe and healthy, no matter the route of entry. This was my birth experience:

I had to have a cervical catheter placed the morning of Monday, November 28th at 10:40am. This was because my cervix just hadn’t progressed or dilated like it should have the last four weeks of my pregnancy. I kept telling everyone that my cervix was just stubborn. At first I was a little apprehensive about the procedure but after thinking about the other outcomes if I didn’t do this, it made the most sense. (If you induce without cervical ripening, it can make labor more intense and/or prolong labor which can potentially lead to complications. Pitocin, which is a synthetic form of oxytocin, doesn’t cross the blood brain barrier like natural oxytocin does, which means the body won’t respond in the same way by sending out natural pain killer- endorphins. This means that a pitocin augmented labor can have the potential to be much more painful. It can also cause fetal distress since contractions are artificially regulated and baby can’t slow them down if labor becomes too stressful. This in turn can lead to an emergency c-section. The balloon catheter is used to “prep” your cervix to about 3-4 centimeters prior to induction. My doctor inserted the catheter, and then inflated 60cc of saline into the ballon. They sent me home, to then return at midnight for induction at the hospital. I started having contractions at home, which progressed to 5 minutes apart for 1 minute consistently from around 4pm until about 10pm, which at that point my contractions stalled. I did have one constant contraction for about 10 minutes with peaks of intensity, which felt pretty intense. After we got to the hospital, I was hooked up to all the necessary monitoring equipment, IV started, and pitocin drip administered. Prior to my doctor coming in to check on me at 7am, my water had broke with the catheter still in, which was around 3am. It felt like just a trickle, so my nurse swabbed me just to make sure it was amniotic fluid. It was. My doctor removed the catheter and broke a residual pocket of membrane/amniotic fluid. She informed me that my contractions will get more intense, as they slowly raised the amount of pitocin infused. I withstood contractions until I was 6cm dilated, naturally, with no pain medication or intervention. At this point the contractions were the most intense pain I had ever felt (In my opinion, I think it was due to the pitocin.

My whole body was tensing up, I was shaking, I could no longer breathe through the contractions properly. I also was hyperventilating through the rest periods, trying to catch my breath to relax and rest, which wasn’t easy when you only have a minute or two between contractions. This made Sky, and my family (Who were there in my room by then; My mom, dad, mother-in-law, and Sky’s Aunt) very uncomfortable seeing me in so much pain. My goal was to have a natural, vaginal child birth without any pain intervention, but at this point, I was crying through the contractions, writhing in pain, so I decided I needed the epidural. I whispered to Sky, "I want everyone out". In my mind, I was questioning my ability to withstand the worst pain I have ever felt for potentially hours ahead. I also had the aching feeling that my pelvis was being stretched apart, which is a sensation I can’t even begin to explain how it felt. I was shaking my head, telling Sky, "I can't, I just can't". I asked my nurse for pain medication, which I guess was misleading because I meant that I wanted an epidural but she came in with IV pain medication. Once we cleared the air on the matter, she called the anesthesiologist for the epidural. 

The epidural, was not as bad as I had envisioned it to be. I jumped a little with the initial poke of lidocaine. After that, it just felt like pressure. A couple of zingers ran down my left leg, so he adjusted the catheter and pushed another dose through. I went through about 3 contractions while I was hunched over, my arms draped around Sky's shoulders, our foreheads resting against one another, as I breathed fast and heavily- in-and-out through each of the contractions. I said sorry to Sky, worried that my breath smelled really bad, the nurse laughed a little and said "Awe".  Sky reassured me that he didn't care if my breath smelled bad. Haha. 

After getting the epidural, the calmness ran over me. I could think, and speak again. It was a night and day difference between how I felt just 10 minutes prior to the epidural when I was questioning my ability to even just sit up for the epidural- the pain was that bad. The stark contrast between pain and no pain was joyous. I could now enjoy the presence of our family there. I could feel their excitement, their joy for what was to come, and their relief from not seeing me in such a great deal of pain. At first I wasn't sure of how fast the epidural would work, so I asked "How do I know it's working?", Sky laughed and said, "Well you just talked through a contraction", as he watched the monitor. From this point on, I would say labor was pretty easy. I was just laying there, numb, waiting to get to 10cm. We visited with family and watched a couple of movies, as I tried to rest. At the point when I came close to having to push, my doctor came in to check on me. She told me that she was going to her office (across the street) to finish up about 15 minutes of paperwork but that she would be back once the nurse called her, when I started to crown. The nurse set up the room, raised my legs into the stirrups, and explained how to push. For each contraction, she said I would take a big breath in, holding onto the back of my upper thighs, pulling back as I tuck my chin in, as if I was doing an abdominal crunch, and I would push as I held my breath in. We would do 3 breaths, 3 pushes per contraction. After she explained everything to me, a rush of emotion came over me, mostly nervousness. This was the culmination of 9 months of pregnancy, and we were literally so close to meeting our Charlie. I asked the nurse if most first time moms are nervous to start pushing.  Kind of a dumb question, but legitimate in search for her reassurance, she said “Of course, but you’ll do great”. I asked Sky what his feelings were and he was kind and sweet the entire time, reassuring me that we prepared as much as we could and we were ready to meet her. We were ready to be a family. He was amazing just as I knew he would be, so supportive. I could not ask for a better partner in life and father to our daughter. He understands me, and I love him more than he'll ever know, more than I could ever be able to express to him. 

Here we go- time to start pushing. My nurse instructed me when to start, based off my contractions. "Ok, Big deep breath in…..PUSHHH!!! And again, breath in, and push. One more time, breath in and push!". "I can see her hair", she said. What can happen when you push is that after your done, the baby can actually retract back into the pelvic outlet, sometimes leading mothers to push for hours. I had asked how long first time moms usually push for and her response was that it ranges anywhere between 2 to 4 hours. So I was expecting to be pushing for at least, awhile. 

The nurse left the room to call my doctor. Sky could hear her tell my doctor in disbelief that I was already starting to crown, and she could see the top of her head. She apologized to her because she didn't expect me to push-to-crown so fast. My nurse came back in, had me do another round/contraction of pushing, thinking my doctor would be there within minutes, but my last push was too effective, and she said she was going to get the hospitalist just in case while my doctor came back to the hospital. I chuckled at something the nurse said, with everyone looking at my lady parts, they told me not to laugh or cough! A couple minutes later the hospitalist was in the room asking where my doctor was because she had just seen her, not realizing I was probably one laugh or cough away from her head popping out, she asked someone to get her gloves, but right at that moment, Charlie's head literally just popped out on its own, the hospitalist had to catch her bare handed!! My doctor got there one minute afterward. She said this was only the second birth she's ever missed!! My nurse said I should give classes on how to push. Rarely do they witness two contractions, six pushes all together, and baby is out type situation. Charlie basically birthed herself. We were overjoyed with emotion as they placed Charlie on my chest for skin-to-skin, and for her first latch of breastfeeding, while Sky got to cut the umbilical cord, and the my doctor and nurses did all the clean up work. 

Eventhough I wanted a natural birth, I feel that getting the epidural allowed me to enjoy the whole process, and the moment her actual birth happened, that much more. I could be present in that time, mentally allowing me to enjoy every aspect of it. I honestly do not think I could have done it without the epidural. I have to recognize those mothers out there that have given birth naturally. I’m not quite sure I’d want to know what it feels like now, after having an epidural, but I commend those that have given birth naturally. Unfortunately for me, because my cervix was so stubborn, that led me to the birth that was meant for me. There are so many situations that can transpire when giving birth and I am happy about my experience. Below are some pictures we took just after Charlie was born into our life, lighting up our hearts, and our homecoming with little miss sweet pea Charlie bean.  

We are a family, us three. Xoxo Angela + Sky + Charlie.

I love that her umbilical cord runs in-between her two toes. 

The neonatal nurse and my doctor, Dr. Mary Deka. 

                           

Her little kitty booties were so cute but she kicked them off right away and they wouldn't stay on.
She looked so cute in her go-home outfit, but did not like mama dressing her up in it.

A nice homecoming surprise from grandma Hillary.

The cute poster grandma Hillary printed and hung on our door when we arrived home.